Texts from the Infamous 'Phantom Phone'
by thiswillbeourfairytale
Summary: Nadir will regret the day he gave Erik the ability to 'text'...
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I am very sorry about this. But I've just gotten these weird urges to write random blabber this week. It's probably an idea done before but I know that if I don't write it, my muse shall wither. So _voila_!

I'm not sure if this is a one-shot or not, so some feedback would be pleasant. If there are none – a one shot it is!

Thanks a lot!

DISCLAIMERS: Anything you recognise is not mine. The 'Phantom Phone' - I saw this in a backstage video with Ramin, I believe...it may not have been him. BUT! Let's continue...

* * *

><p><strong>Texts from the Phantom Phone<strong>

**From: **_**Erik**_

**To: **_**Who**_**?**

* * *

><p><em>Sent to: Nadir Khan<em>

[13:00]

**E – **

I m bcmig infuratd by ths devic Nadr – wy is it so dffcult t tpe?

**N – **

Erik, I believe you could use your autocorrect to make your job much easier. Would you like me to pay you a visit to show you how it is done?

**E – **

No need, I seemed to have found my way. It is my gloves that hindered the sensitivity of this screen. Now that I have removed them, my thumbs are rather adaptable.

**N – **

That's a pleasure to hear. I purchased this for you to make sure you are in contact at all times.

**E – **

And now I shall. Perhaps I shall send my notes through 'text messaging' from now on.

**N – **

But you can't. You do not have their numbers.

**E – **

But _you d_o.

**N – **

I shall not give them to you! If you want numbers, you must ask for them!

**E – **

You're clever, Persian. But your aptitude lacks proficiency as there is no _need _for me to _take _them as I already _have _them.

**N – **

You _stole _the numbers off my phone yesterday, didn't you! The nerve.

**E – **

I _copied _them. I could not _steal _them. They are still there – are they not?

**N – **

But my phone possesses a password to access!

**E – **

Even my cat could have deciphered such a predictable key.

**N – **

I cannot believe it.

**E – [13:09]**

Change it if you wish. I have _all _that I require. Are you visiting tonight?

**[13:10] – **Fine, be childish Nadir. I shall see you shortly.

**N - **

You do not know I am visiting. Not after such a breach of privacy!

**E- **

You will.

**N – **

I will not.

**E – **

If you wish to lie to yourself…I shall see you shortly.

* * *

><p><em>Sent to: Nadir Khan<em>

[14:36]

**E –**

Nadir, I seemed to have lost my muse.

**N – **

Why so? Has little Miss Daaé tiptoed off on a field trip?

**E – **

No, she is right here.

**N –**

You're watching her _right _now?

**E – **

Yes. But I see no flourish in my musical urges. I don't believe this is normal. What I feel is this undeniable push in my stomach – quite alien actually.

**N – **

That sounds rather concerning, Erik. Do you hold any other symptoms?

**E – **

No, but I have become rather delusional. I seemed to be attracted to the overweight woman feeding the cast. When I watch her, I feel rather _uplifted._

**N – **

Erik, for God's _sake _man. You are _hungry. _

**E –**

Ah, that would explain things.

**N – **

You forgot to eat once more? Did I not lecture you on such an unhealthy lifestyle?

**E – **

Music is food.

**N – **

It is not! It does not fill you and give you the nutritional needs you require! Erik, please do save this text in case of future 'symptom scares.'

**E – **

Hunger is rather discomfiting. Perhaps I should gratify it in the kitchens.

**N – **

Please do. I am coming over.

**E – **

Why? There is no need. I can find the Kitchens myself.

**N – **

You always say that and you _never _eat.

**E – **

A fair conclusion. I shall see you then.

* * *

><p><em>Sent to: Nadir Khan<em>

[16:17]

**E – **

I am about to send my very first text to someone other than yourself. I must say, it is rousing me more than it should.

**N – **

Good, I supposed that is good to hear. Who are you planning to harass?

**E – **

I am 'text messaging' – not _harassing._

**N – **

_Apologies. _Who is it? Please, do not tell me it's that _boy._

**E – **

What boy?

**N – **

The new patron of the opera. The boy you told me has the perfect neck _radius_ for your lasso.

**E – **

No, I am not messaging _the Vicomte._

**N –**

Oh good, I am pleased to hear that.

**E – **

At least, not in that name.

**N – [16:24]**

What is that supposed to mean?

**[16:26] **– Erik?

* * *

><p><em>Sent to: Le Fop<em>

[16:27]

**E –**

_Bonjour_, is this the Vicomte De Chagny by any chance?

**LF –**

Why? Who is asking?

**E – **

Ah, so it _is _you.

**LF – **

Who is this? How did you acquire my number?

**E – **

Questions, questions. Now _listen_, le fop. I believe we have a little predicament we must solve together.

**LF –**

Le fop?

**E –**

Calm yourself, little toddler. A fop is a _dandy. _In fact, locate a reflective surface and you will find a perfect example right there before your very eyes.

**LF –**

You fiend.

**E – **

FIEND? _FIEND_? I am no fiend, brother. YOU are the fiend. How does purchasing the Opera Populaire _bestow _you the chance to STEAL my greatest creation? She is _mine_, you foolish boy. You have nothing against what _I _have.

**LF –**

I have no idea what you ARE TALKING ABOUT! But I tell you – real men do not _solve predicaments _in text form.

**E – **

Real men do not have mediocre voices and diluted, weak-willed, _tasteless _personalities either.

**LF –**

Who ARE YOU!

**E – **

Guess.

**LF –**

You are the OPERA GHOST AREN'T YOU! Come to _frighten _me.

**E –**

I'm genuinely _shocked_ you actually resolved such an elementary sum, Vicomte. From what I have observed, your intellectual prowess stretches as far as your musical talent.

**LF –**

I do not accept such preposterous untruths from a man hiding in shadows! STOP messaging me now!

**E – **

I believe I shall, Vicomte. I seemed to have found some _flecks_ on my shoulder that require brushing off.

**LF – **

I will find you, ghost.

**E – [16:45]**

Until you do, I shall stare at my ceiling. _Au Revoir_, sweet, monotonous prince. I shall wait for the day you come and rescue me from my slumber.

**[16:48]** – But of course, knowing your scholarly doings – I probably shall have a lengthy wait in my hands. _If_, at all.

**[16:50] – **Stay away from her Raoul De Chagny. Consider yourself warned.

* * *

><p><em>Sent from: Nadir Khan<em>

[17:00]

**N –**

You are worrying me by not answering my messages.

**E –**

Calm yourself, dear. I have just finished a conversation.

**N – **

Erik, I am serious. Please do not use this phone to hassle others. It is meant to be for your safety and communication.

**E – **

I understand. And I did not HASSLE him, I simply told him to stay away.

**N –**

You threatened the theatre's patron.

**E- **

Yes. I have the conversation here if you wish to read it. It's rather interesting. I could just imagine his boyish eyes widening as I _humiliated _him.

**N – **

Erik.

**E – **

It is not my fault that degrading him gives me pleasure.

**N – **

What? That's not right Erik. No.

**E – **

It is correct. I have the right to find pleasure in things– it's like those quirks in your lips give you pleasure.

**N –**

You mean when I _smile_?

**E – **

Yes, that is the one.

* * *

><p><em>Sent to: Nadir Khan<em>

[23:00]

**E – **

Q1jeadndikehwqodfdsfsdj3933s!

**N –**

Excuse me, Erik? Are you wearing your gloves again?

**E- **

Apologies, Nadir. The cat seems to have taken a liking to the glowing screen and attacked it while I was sidetracked.

**N – **

Oh, alright. And – it is late, please get some sleep.

* * *

><p><em>Sent to Nadir Khan<em>

[03:32]

**E – **

Nadir, I have just woken from a short sleep and I have received a worrying message.

**[03:34] - **Persian. Wake yourself.

**N – **

Erik, it is rather early in the morning. Could it not wait?

**E **–

No.

**N – **

Okay, so what is this worrying message?

**E – **

It says that I do not have much 'credit' left. _What _is this credit? And why am I deficient? Should I be concerned? I am disconcerted.

**N –**

Oh. Credit is the texts, Erik. Please do not text anymore – I want you to use it in case of emergencies in the next few hours. You probably have wasted a lot now, so no more alright?

**E – **

Alright.

**N – **

Erik! Please!

**E – **

Apologies.

**N – **

ERIK!

**[03:37] – **Sleep well, Erik.

* * *

><p>AN: So yes! Please R/R if you can. I enjoyed that so I may continue it. Thanks a lot and sorry for the randomness.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N:

_First_ of all, a ma-hoo-sive thank you to the wonderful comments! I was surprised by how often the word 'laugh' was used. My humour's a bit odd, you see so I'm pleased you guys liked it! I should be updating this daily (since it seems to be bulging with muse at the moment) or even twice, daily. Now just to clear up some details -

Erik _is _an IPHONE user. I actually do not have an iphone - I am a blackberry user, so I garner app ideas by scouring through my sister's iphone XD. If you'd like to suggest any, feel free. To nannyandPOTOcrazy - I believe, you have ignited the angry birds side of my little Erik here.

Anyway - I shall first reply to the anonymous comments - just a thank you!

**Wide-Eyed for Pontmercy - **Thank you! There shall be a Christine/Erik text from now on as I progress the story. I hope you like this one! And I'm glad I made you laugh!

**Phantom Waffles- **Thank you so much! I love it too, haha. And I love you for reviewing! Many thanks.

**woland666 -**Awe, I'm glad you think so! Thanks so much! I hope you enjoy this one nearly as much.

**ultimatist - **Thanks a lot! I'm really overwhelmed by the positive response as I did think this could not have possibly been the first of these! Thanks a bunches for reviewing again!

**Erik Destler- **Good sir! I'm really pleased you like it and I think you should get a 'cellular device' - this Erik seems to be thoroughly enjoying it. Your welcome! And _no_, thank you for the inspiration! *stops giggling*

**Raoul de Chagny - **I'm sorry! I feel bad. That's why you're not in this one. _You might be in the next one though... _um, yes. Sorry that you're annoyed. Cookie? -offers-

**The mysterious unnamed - **Thanks for the review and I shall keep your suggestion in mind ;) I do like that app on the iphone my sister has...but thanks and I hope you like this one!

Thanks for all the feedback guys, I love you all!

* * *

><p><em>Sent to: Nadir Khan<em>

[09:00]

**E – **

Good morning.

**N – **

How could you text me, Erik? You're currently in a state of _sleep._

**E – **

That lump on the chair by my organ is not me sleeping, Persian.

**N – **

Erik. Where in the heavens are you? I was so quiet – even hushing your poor cat since it was the longest I've ever seen you sleep…

**E –**

I apologise for disappointing you. I'm sorry.

**N – **

Of course you are. So, where are you?

**E –**

I am watching the company's rehearsal of their new opera, of course.

**N – **

Oh, well how is it?

**E – **

Dull.

**N – **

Well…may you at least grace me with details with what the name of it is? The composer perhaps?

**E – **

Idomeneo. And it is by Mozart.

**N-**

What? Mozart? How could _anything _by Mozart be dull?

**E – **

You act like you were betrothed to him, Nadir. His work stiffens me.

**N- **

Okay, fine. Another word to describe it then? A nicer one?

**E –**

Overrated.

**N-**

_Fine. _You are ill-tempered due to the fact that you haven't had breakfast. I shall go and fetch something.

**E –**

I shall go and visit the Kitchens myself.

**N – **

No! No more stealing. I shall retrieve food for us.

**E-**

If you wish it. But it would conserve time if you just allow me.

**N –**

No.

* * *

><p><em>Sent from: Nadir<em>

[10:23]

**N – **

I have breakfast. Please return to the retreat.

**E – **

It's very late for breakfast.

**N – **

Don't be problematic. I was confronted by a busy rush. Now – to the retreat!

**E – **

Is it so difficult to call it a _lair_? I prefer lair, rather than retreat. Retreat makes the lair sound like acamp of sorts…and I am a ghost…

**N – [10:26]**

Erik, please.

**[10:28] – **Please.

**[10:31] – **Fine, please return to your lair.

**E – **

Better.

* * *

><p><em>Sent to: Fool number one<em>

[12:21]

**E – **

Monsieur Firmin.

**FNO – **

Bonjour, who is this?

**E – [12:22]**

You should know in a few moments. I have instructions for you – does it ring a bell of familiarity?

**[12:24] **– I thought so. Please, heave your chest and fill your lungs with air. I only _converse _to inform you good monsieur that I may be substituting my notes with text messages instead.

**FNO – **

That is very pleasing to know yet – I do believe that it'd be preferable if you do not send notes _at all_ – would that be viable at all?

**E – **

You amuse me. Please inform your partner of this development. Have a pleasant rehearsal, monsieur. I remain your obedient servant, OG.

* * *

><p><em>Sent to: Nadir Khan<em>

[12:45]

**E –**

This autocorrecting is astounding me.

**N – **

Wonderful. Is it helping at all?

**E – **

I do not know. But I assume that it has no need to 'auto correct' me as I believe my spelling is adequate.

**N –**

You'll be surprised.

**E –**

Is that meant to be enigmatic?

**N – **

Perceive it as you wish. Now, have you tried any of the other options the phone offers? Phones do more than text messaging.

**E**-

Does it compose music?

**N – **

It depends. But knowing _you_, it doesn't compose the music you are thinking about.

**E **–

Then I am not interested.

**N –**

Fine, but I have installed a few things that may catch your attention if you ever have time in your _painfully _busy rota.

**E **–

I laugh at you, Nadir. I thought this phone was meant to be for communication and my safety only?

**N – **

You get bored easily. Just say thank you and I shall stop pressing the matter.

**E** –

No.

**N – **

Fair enough. I shall visit later.

* * *

><p><em>Sent to: Nadir Khan<em>

[13:11]

**E –**

Persian! I believe I am on the verge of a pancake attack!

**N – **

Really, Erik? That's a rather peculiar image.

**E **–

…I do not know what happened. What is a _pancake_? It was meant to say _panic. _I am at a loss. Is the phone broken? Should I take it apart?

**N – **

I believe your phone has just 'auto-corrected' you.

**E** –

How do I make it stop?

**N –**

I'm not sure. I don't believe it is an option you can change.

**E **–

Look at it for me, Nadir. Now. I do not appreciate its alterations.

**N – **

Fine. I shall…before you have another _pancake _attack.

* * *

><p><em>Sent from: Nadir Khan<em>

[13:32]

**N –**

I'm sorry I did not mean to tease. I'm here at the retreat - please open the door.

**[13:33] – **Erik, open it. Or I am leaving.

**[13:35] – **Thank you.

* * *

><p><em>Sent to: Nadir Khan<em>

[14:45]

**E - **

You have Christine in your address book.

**N **-

Yes, and now because of your antics - so do you.

**E** -

Well, do you believe I should contact her?

**N **-

Do I even have a say in the matter? I think you should.

**E -**

Well, what should I say?

**N -**

Are we really having this conversation now? You, Erik - the man of words and song. Surely, you could muster up something considering you have been speaking to her for the past ten years.

**E -**

A fair point. I shall contact her.

**N -**

Good, start with something casual. Like _Hello Christine. _Nothing too imperative/demanding like your habitual greetings.

**E** -

It's just a text message, Persian. I am simply informing her of our meeting tonight. There is no need for such presumptuous advice.

**N -**

I find messaging you thoroughly exhausting sometimes, Erik.

**E **-

Good.

* * *

><p><em>Sent to: Christine Daaé <em>

[15:00]

**E – **

My Christine. I text to inform you that our lesson shall carry on as normal today, if you have not been too exhausted by your rehearsals.

**CD – **

Angel! You have a phone? That is wonderful! How did you get my number?

**E** –

The details are not important, my dear. What is important is that you are able to be present at our lesson later this evening.

**CD **–

Of course! I shall not miss it for the world, Angel. :)

**E – **

Wonderful…and, may I ask what is that?

**CD** –

What is what, Angel?

**E **–

At the end of your text, there is an odd looking yellow _face_.

**CD- **

Oh, it is a smiley face of course. I was just happy. I'm sorry – I do that to all my texts.

**E**-

Don't concern yourself my dear. I am new to all of this. I look forward to hearing your beautiful voice once more – I hope you have been practicing.

**CD – **

I have, thank you Angel. Unfortunately, I must go for Madame Giry is beckoning me. I shall dance humming our melodies… :)

**E** –

Very well mon ange… :) to you as well.

* * *

><p><em>Sent to: Nadir Khan<em>

[15:10]

**E – **

:)

**N – **

…That's not the cat again, is it?

**E** –

I believe I've lost muse again, Nadir. I must compose yet the bars in my head refuse to align.

**N – **

I advise you to try some recreational things to ignite your brain's creative functions…. _Different_ ones perhaps?

**E-**

What are you suggesting?

**N** –

Fawning over a certain budding soprano does not qualify as a recreational activity.

**E** –

She is _not_ budding!

**N **–

Just attempt on pressing a few icons on the phone, Erik. I believe it can become quite an obsession!

**E **–

Obsession? I must say I know a little about such matters.

**N – **

Please don't make me laugh. I am on public transport.

**E** –

Why? I have not said anything amusing.

**N - **

Stop!

**E** -

You perplex me, Persian.

* * *

><p><em>Sent from<em>: _Nadir Kahn_

[19:34]

**N – **

I assume this is a healthy time to resume conversation. Your lesson with Christine has concluded, yes?

**E – **

Yes.

**N – **

So, how was it? Anything new?

**E** –

She's getting better. Her breathing technique is still defective in some ways – but I blame that on our lack of time together. She requires _constant _reminder. Because of her being concealed in all this flappable dancing – she loses the required dilution for her singing.

**N **–

Did you tell her that?

**E **–

Not, exactly. She is deliciously distracting. My hour with her passes by much too quickly for me to state anything that does not involve scenic flattery.

**N –**

You really should speak to her, you know. As _you_ – not as the ghost.

**E** –

It is not as effortless as you make it out to be.

**N –**

Try the application I gave you. It is the third one on the second row. Read some. It shall amuse you.

**E – **

I am a harsh critic.

**N – **

Please.

**E –**

A _pick up line _generator? What is this? Why do you need lines to 'pick up?' Nadir, your humour is not similar to mine. If this does not amuse me, it shall pain you.

**N – **

Read it. Please. You never know it might help you.

* * *

><p><em>Sent to: Nadir Khan<em>

[21:02]

**E** –

_If I had a star for every time you brightened my day. I'd have a galaxy in my hands._

**N** –

…I take it you read it then.

**E** –

I read through _hundreds _of that imprudence, Persian.

**N –**

You didn't like it?

**E** –

No! It shall never work on Christine! Is this what society's lust has done? It has taken men to the depths of such thoughtlessness? Women shall never succumb to watery depositions such as this! This application is a crime, Persian! A _crime_!

**N – **

So, you didn't like it?

**E –**

No, I did not.

**N –**

Well, try the one beneath.

**E** –

The one that has a rather overweight, crimson bird on the front?

**N – **

Yes?

**E- **

Very well.

* * *

><p><em>Sent from: Nadir Khan<em>

[23:34]

**N – **

I'm concerned that you haven't contacted me in a while.

**E** –

You shouldn't be. You should know I am currently attaining inexplicable levels through this game. It might have just formed into another endowment – the latest among my many others.

**N –**

Wait – what?

**E – **

I shall retreat to my bed shortly.

* * *

><p><em>Sent from: Nadir Khan<em>

[01:23]

**N –**

I am guessing you're not sleeping.

**E** –

You guess correctly.

**N – **

Please tell me you are composing that opera. That you had a sudden swell of musical motivation and you are currently enslaved over your organ.

**E** –

I'm afraid not.

**N –**

Stop playing that game.

**E –**

You only have yourself to blame.

* * *

><p><em>Sent to: Nadir Khan<em>

[03:45]

**E –**

I am about to sleep.

**N –**

Thank the lord. Good night, Erik. Sleep well.

**E** –

And yourself, monsieur.

**N – **

Did you get far in the game?

**E – **

:)

* * *

><p>AN:

No more angry birds, promise. ;) But yes R/R as usual! And thank you for the feedback. I'd love to hear if you have any apps/ideas you'd like Erik to try out, actually. He's fascinated by it all.

_And the pancake attack. *random spasm* - got it from damnyouautocorrect. _Sorry. I just had to put it somewhere in there. *spasms*


	3. Chapter 3

A/N -

Now, may I just say _another _ma-hoosive thank you for the positive response! I'm still glad my Erik/Nadir are making you smile. And I'm pleased you guys are staying with me even though this idea is totally insane.

...anyway anon. reviews first!

**WhereNightisBlind - **Oh, thank you! Haha, I'm glad the pancake thing made you laugh :3 I was pretty much hysterical when I first saw it on that website and it seemed to be the type to mortify Erik. Debonaire and sweet - well, hopefully Erik shall be that soon! He's still a bit new to the phone at the moment. A bit... teenage-y, would be the word? Thanks a lot for the review! -cookie-

**Portia **- you DID? Would you like a tissue? -offers- Awe, thank you - I AM continuing on. I seemed to lose muse in all sense if I don't continue this, haha. Thanks for the lovely review. -cookie-

**LadyCavalier - **Well I'm very pleased it was for you! -gushes- I have become very concerned that my funny...isn't universally funny. Most of it seems okay though so I must be doing something right! Thanks for the review! -cookie-

**382jollytumgirl - **WHY YES I AM! Holy Britoncakes - I am English 3 Is it a minority here? I've just never noticed! THAT'S COOL TOO! How is America? I'm sure it's much better than the UK at the moment. Our weather sucks, as you might have heard :DD Oh I knowww. I prefer that to the 'Learn to be Lonely' - I have found that I cannot stand Erik learning to be lonely...because HE SHALL ALWAYS HAVE ALL HIS PHANGIRLS. 3 Awe, and thank you for liking my humour...wow, I've never known that our humour was famous! I thought we just whined a lot, hehe. Thanks for the review! -cookie-

**Erik Destler **- /hyperventilates. It's true! I am very English. And - oh goodness! I'm glad you're jesting because Americans are VERY cool. I don't care what people say (I love it even more now that you're there!) And... I shall touch upon that idea later on in the final A/N - so, I hope this sustains your interest for long enough! I'm pleased it still does does! -giggles and controls clingy arms-

**PhantomWaffles- **hullo again! I love your name. It's making me hungry, actually. Ah, the moron test. Well. I AM TAKING A LIST of all the apps you sugest and I shall try and get them all at some point in time when Erik's bored and requires a diversion. I love the moron test, personally ;) Erik - FACEBOOK? /dies. Thanks for the review! -cookie-

**No name at the moment - **Hehe, how amusing that was to type. Oh, that's fine! Yes he does! Except he's stopped it (the Persian disagrees with the game face it gives him) but Finland! That's aaamazing! I am jealous. But thank you! I'm pleased you like it - I hope you like this one just as much! -cookie-

(deep breath and collapses)

Enjoy! And if at some point you FEEL like you want to text him. Keep it to yourself and read on till the end.

* * *

><p><em>Sent to: Christine Daaé<em>

[08:14]

**E – **

Good morning Christine. I hope I had not woken you.

**CD –**

Good morning, Angel. Of course not – I had just finished preparing for my whole day rehearsal today actually. It is the final one and everyone is very excited. x

**E – **

So, I observed. It pains me that you are not leading this opera, Christine.

**CD – **

Oh, Angel – it is fine! Carlotta has a much better voice for the part and I believe I am still in need of lessons. X

**E – **

No! Do not say spite me with such lies! The years we have spent in education have provided you with the stamina to perfect _any _part.

**CD – **

Angel, you flatter me. x

**E –**

It is true. I remain unsure why it is Ms. Giudicelli retains the lead soprano for the number of seasons she has. You, my dear are _far _more talented.

**CD – **

I'm pleased I satisfy you, Angel. It is my prime purpose. X

**E – **

I cannot imagine you doing anything but. Your very presence is enough to indulge me.

**CD – **

Angel, why is it that I cannot see you? You are so wonderful and tolerant of me – I find it difficult to imagine how I may ever repay you.

**E – **

You shall, in time my rose. Now, I believe that it is time for your rehearsal. Farewell mon ange, do not deplete your splendour too much for we have our own practice this evening.

**CD **–

Anything for your pleasure, angel. X

**E –**

I'm pleased to hear of that. Oh, Christine – a swift inquiry. Does your keyboard have some recurring abnormality?

**CD – **

Not that I know of, why?

**E –**

It is just that I have dutifully noted that every single one of your sentences seemed to have the letter 'x' in the end. I thought it best to ask you in case it is broken.

**CD – **

Oh, Angel – the 'x' represents a _kiss_ – do you not know of that conduct?

**E – **

Well, no. I see.

**CD – **

It's quite common. I seemed to have picked it up from Meg. I'm sorry for confusing you.

**E – **

No, I had just become concerned that if your phone was broken – we may have to adjourn these wonderful conversations.

**CD** –

I have done my best to avoid such a horrific circumstance. Thank you angel! As always.

**E – **

You're welcome. Farewell, Christine. An 'x' (a kiss yes?) of good luck to you.

**CD –**

Xxxx

**E –**

Oh.

* * *

><p><em>Sent to: Nadir Khan<em>

[09:01]

**E –**

Nadir, I believe Christine has just expressed romantic inclinations for me.

**N – **

That's good. However, I do believe that you thought that all along…or so it seemed. You always tuttered on about how much she adores you.

**E** –

Yes, but she had not kissed me.

**N –**

She_ kissed_ you? – well, that's fantastic, Erik. You took her to the lair yes? Which exit did you choose – the one behind the mirror…behind the bookcase – or the one below her floor? I must say the bookcase is my favourite.

**E **–

Well, not in that manner specifically.

**N –**

Oh no. It wasn't a delusion - or a dream of some sort was it? I told you, it's a common by-product of sleep-deprivation. You do dream a lot about such matters with Christine.

**E –**

What? A dream? No!

**N –**

Your nocturnal exclamations in your sleep always involve Christine of sorts. I shall not speak more of it due to the fact that it may humiliate in you in some form. But, let's just admit that your dreams have suggested that you are rather _frustrated_- in a word.

**E –**

I am no such thing!

**N –**

You are sleeping, you do not know. Now, if it is not a dream – oh _God_, you have not decided to find relief in the _dolls _have you? I supposed it would only take time considering the doll you display was always so frighteningly life-like…

**E – **

Persian! No! I would never do such a thing to _the _Christine! That is outrageous! Stop!

**N –**

The _Christines_. You mean. I am aware that you have more than one.

**E- **

Persian!

**N – **

Fine, I believe that you have not found a release in your army of Daaés. But I am now doubting that you found release in the _real _one either. Begin the tale once more?

**E – **

I cannot speak, Persian. You have rendered me silent.

**N – **

Fantastic. When you are done, you may text me back yes? Now, I am off to business. Attempt to not do anything thrilling while I am gone.

* * *

><p><em>Sent to – Nadir Khan<em>

[12:34]

**E – **

Persian.

**N – **

Erik, I told you that you must not text me. I am consumed by work-related matters.

**E –**

You said no such thing. You told me that when I am finished, I may text you back.

**N-**

Defeated. What is it you wanted to say? I only have a second to spare…

**E – **

I believe I have found a way to make sure my Christine leads the opera.

**N –**

Hm. Well, does your plan involve the lasso?

**E – **

Not this time.

**N –**

I trust you. Proceed if your conscience allows it…Now I am going – please attempt to contain any urge to message me in the next few hours.

**E –**

That should not be difficult; you bore me for the most with your nonsensical retorts.

**N – **

Thank you, Erik.

* * *

><p><em>Sent to – Carlotta<em>

[13:00]

**E – **

I am sorry for that momentary disturbance in your rehearsal, Madame. I was surveying the set of my theatre and _slipped._

**C –**

THE GHOST! It is you! IT WAS YOU! It is ALWAYS you! That _set _almost collapsed on my head! YOU SWINE! I could have _died_!

**E** –

And yet you did not. Some plans do not unfold as you imagined them.

**C – **

Why is it so important for you to make this theatre HELL! I shall NOT STAY HERE! I have made it clear and I am sweeping out of this – this IMPOTENCE! AU _REVOIR_ ghost! This theatre does not DESERVE ME!

**E – **

Farewell, Madame. You are _correct_ in saying that this theatre does not deserve you – I sincerely believe that _no _theatre does.

**C-**

_Brutto figlio di puttana! Bastardo!_

**E – **

Goodbye.

* * *

><p><em>Sent to – Christine Daaé<em>

[14:03]

**E – **

I have become aware that you have been promoted, Christine.

**CD –**

Oh Angel! I was hoping you would text me! It was the oddest thing but the whole s_et _fell on Carlotta and I believed it had aggravated her to the very brink of madness. It was sad but now – now I take her place!

**E** –

Why is it sad?

**CD –**

Because I know she works very hard.

**E** –

You have worked more. And have attained more. Enjoy tonight, Christine. Perhaps we should delay our rehearsal due to your performance. It is a whole opera you must stage.

**CD **–

Oh no! I wish to continue our rehearsal anyhow. Please angel, I have much to say and I wish to see your reaction to my performance. Of course…if you are tired then I shall not exhaust you.

**E – **

I am as devoted to you as you are to me. I shall see you shortly. Remember the techniques I taught you – and remember that I shall be listening and absorbing _every _note.

**CD –**

I wish for nothing more. X

* * *

><p><em>Sent to: Fool number two<em>

[15:16]

**E –**

Monsieur André. I would wish to console you of your recent loss in the form of Carlotta Guidicelli – but I do not for I am certain that her departure is a larger gain than it is a defeat.

**FNT – **

Our lead soprano! Of course it is a defeat! She is our star!

**E** –

Your gain is Christine Daaé. She is the true star.

**FNT –**

Yes, I suppose her voice is quite marvellous.

**E – **

Marvellous to put it mildly; now, I am just contacting you to remind you of my daily and habitual wishes of my salary at the end of this week – and, the objective of keeping _my _box empty. I shall enjoy tonight's show and I am certain you shall as well. Your obedient servant, OG.

* * *

><p><em>Sent from – Nadir Khan.<em>

[15:37]

**N – **

ERIK! I had just heard of what had happened at the Populaire. I am at a loss. Miss Carlotta's departure – why would you perform such a shamelessly heinous act?

**E – **

I thought you were busy.

**N –**

Answer me.

**E – **

My undying affection for Miss Daaé is one reason. The other was to get rid of that _boar_.

**N – **

Miss Giudicelli has a fair voice. She is a pleasant woman – you have treated her horribly and this completely breached the limits of being a 'ghost.' Erik, this was wrong! You must realize that you have put people in danger.

**E – **

Oh, Nadir. Your taste in women is shameless.

**N – **

I am _very_ displeased.

**E – **

I could have used the lasso if you had not dissuaded me from it.

**N –**

This is not for your amusement Erik. She is a real person! Someone could have been injured!

**E – **

It's a shame, isn't it? She actually received _no _injuries.

**N- **

Erik, stop.

**E – **

Breathe Persian. Come to the show tonight. For now, I have a fop to conduct business with.

* * *

><p><em>Sent to: Le Fop<em>

[16:10]

**E – **

Vicomte.

**LF – **

Ghost, is this you?

**E **–

Well, if it is not a text from your mother then surely it must be me – correct?

**LF –**

Oh, _ha. _Ghost very amusing.

**E** –

I was not joking.

**LF – **

What do you want from me? Tell me. Or are you going to lure me into the same fate as Carlotta and have a whole _backdrop _fall on me?

**E – **

Don't be daft, fop. Your demise shall be far more agonizing than that.

**LF – **

So what _is _it then? What do you wish from me now?

**E- **

Nothing. I don't believe you have anything I could possibly want. I was struck with boredom and thought your idiocy would amuse me.

**LF – **

You heartless beast – fight me if you wish it.

**E –**

Do not tempt me, _boy._

**LF – **

If this is about Christine - she is anyone's. It is her choice who she may want to be with. It is not _yours _– whoever you are.

**E** –

We'll see.

**LF –**

Is that a _threat?_

**E –**

It is a challenge. Enjoy tonight's show, fop.

* * *

><p><em>Sent to: Nadir Khan<em>

[16:36]

**E **–

Have you discontinued your sulking?

**N –**

I was not sulking. I was merely disappointed.

**E – **

Finish sulking. I have been involving myself with this phone as you had wished.

**N – **

Oh? I hope it's not the birds again.

**E** –

No, I have grown tired of that game. I have found a new diversion in the form of another different game.

**N – **

Really? Well, what is it?

**E –**

I play an eternally running unicorn in landscapes of dolphins and rainbows – attempting to avoid a gravely plummet and _demolishing _stars. The graphics are quite realistic, I must comment.

**N – **

Sounds interesting. But you _are _joking.

**E**-

I don't joke, Persian. And due to your disinterest, I have just collided into crystal stars.

**N – **

Please, may you try something more productive?

**E – **

There is a test for idiots. Is this meant to _mock _me? It does not sound like my game. Perhaps I shall send it to the Vicomte to try.

**N –**

To call you an idiot would make me one. Try it. I have a final hour of work to do – and then I shall return to the Populaire. _Please_, at least try to keep your hands to yourself in that hour. And no more harassing the patron!

**E** –

I shall miss you dearly, friend.

**N – **

Oh be cruel. _Now _you joke.

* * *

><p>an - so yes, I hope you guys like it! If not - feel free to kidnap my Erik. He's the one with bad texting skills XD I joke.

Now, as people have requested - I think it WOULD be a good idea to have phans text Erik! ;) Nadir has said that he has one hour of work left so now, Erik is free for an hour with NOTHING to do. I believe this would be the time for him to be bombarded with random texts from random people - just before Christine's performance.

So yes! If you review and leave a text - ERIK SHALL TEXT BACK.

**WARNING:** He is very blunt, as you can see. So. Try and engage him somewhat? I don't know. Be as random as you wish. I'm sure he's realized the lunacy of the world after playing Robot Unicorns :DD


End file.
